I feel as though this may be more of a rant so bear with me. When I found out I was pregnant I was so beyond excited. I couldn't wait to be a mom. I worried about my little man from the minute I found out I was pregnant. I was constantly asking my doctor...and Google what was safe and what was not. From nail polish to hair dye to caffeine. After worrying about miscarrying or birth defects I had a new set of worries. I had to be induced. I had pregnancy induced hypertension. Well according to the internet and message boards... I was at a high risk for excruciating pain (worse than normal labor pain) and there was a good possibility that I would rupture my uterus. Then of course there is the awful, horrible, no good, very bad....epidural. Yes, I had one. Yes, I loved it. I had been told that it would delay my l labor and that I would eventually end up with a c-section. This is interesting because it actually sped my labor up! like...a lot. I ended up with a "natural" delivery...although, I'm apparently not worthy of the medal because I didn't do it without drugs. Doing it with drugs makes me selfish, a baby, and it means that I don't care about my baby. I loved my labor and delivery and I wouldn't change a second of it. WHERE DOES THIS NONSENSE COME FROM?
I did not know that becoming a mom puts you under this unwanted scrutiny from others. Every decision is constantly questioned. I did not know that I would be receiving advice from everyone and their dog. I actually don't understand why everyone cares so much?!? There is the circumcision vs. uncircumcised, breastfeeding vs. formula, disposable diapers vs. cloth, pacifier or no pacifier, homemade baby food vs. store bought, bed sharing vs. crib sleeping, cry it out vs. no sleep at all, working mom vs. stay at home mom, oh...and you CANNOT forget the vaccines! Then a little further down the road there will be home-school vs. public school.
It's as if with each decision I will be awarded a gold star if I make the right decision. If not, I could be at the mercy of other mom's who think that I should be put away for child abuse for giving my child a pacifier. Why do we tear each other down? Why does using cloth diapers and not giving vaccines make you a better mom? I briefly worked for the Children's Division...and I can ASSURE you that none of those things constitutes child abuse. Nice try though. If you use cloth diapers and don't do vaccines...good for you, you get two gold stars! If you are a working mother, use disposable diapers, and formula feed...you also get two gold stars! Why do we feel that we are better moms because we chose to breastfeed? How does breastfeeding make us better moms? It doesn't. I am not trying to get into an argument over the benefits of breastfeeding. I actually took that class...I know. I breastfeed...but I have given my child formula too. I actually couldn't care less what you do with your child (as long as you aren't abusing them). The bottom line is that it's none of my business.
At the end of the day, we don't need criticism from other moms. We don't need a reason to question our mothering skills. Because we have beat you to it! We are already questioning every decision we make. We are already worrying that by working we are missing out on our children. Or...we are worrying that we won't be able to give them the best because we aren't working. We worry about vaccines, diapers, formula, pacifiers, choking, development, car-seats, bullying, our bond with our child, sleeping, SIDS, abuse from babysitters, accidents, car crashes, lotion and rashes, intelligence...I could go on forever. We need to empower and uplift each other. We need to encourage each other.
Whether or not you breastfeed or you use pacifiers is irrelevant. That is not what makes you a great mother. Loving your child, spending time with your child, kissing boo boos, reading books, going to after school events, working hard to provide for them, holding them when they cry, and being their biggest fan...THAT is what makes you a great mother.
I did not know that becoming a mom puts you under this unwanted scrutiny from others. Every decision is constantly questioned. I did not know that I would be receiving advice from everyone and their dog. I actually don't understand why everyone cares so much?!? There is the circumcision vs. uncircumcised, breastfeeding vs. formula, disposable diapers vs. cloth, pacifier or no pacifier, homemade baby food vs. store bought, bed sharing vs. crib sleeping, cry it out vs. no sleep at all, working mom vs. stay at home mom, oh...and you CANNOT forget the vaccines! Then a little further down the road there will be home-school vs. public school.
It's as if with each decision I will be awarded a gold star if I make the right decision. If not, I could be at the mercy of other mom's who think that I should be put away for child abuse for giving my child a pacifier. Why do we tear each other down? Why does using cloth diapers and not giving vaccines make you a better mom? I briefly worked for the Children's Division...and I can ASSURE you that none of those things constitutes child abuse. Nice try though. If you use cloth diapers and don't do vaccines...good for you, you get two gold stars! If you are a working mother, use disposable diapers, and formula feed...you also get two gold stars! Why do we feel that we are better moms because we chose to breastfeed? How does breastfeeding make us better moms? It doesn't. I am not trying to get into an argument over the benefits of breastfeeding. I actually took that class...I know. I breastfeed...but I have given my child formula too. I actually couldn't care less what you do with your child (as long as you aren't abusing them). The bottom line is that it's none of my business.
At the end of the day, we don't need criticism from other moms. We don't need a reason to question our mothering skills. Because we have beat you to it! We are already questioning every decision we make. We are already worrying that by working we are missing out on our children. Or...we are worrying that we won't be able to give them the best because we aren't working. We worry about vaccines, diapers, formula, pacifiers, choking, development, car-seats, bullying, our bond with our child, sleeping, SIDS, abuse from babysitters, accidents, car crashes, lotion and rashes, intelligence...I could go on forever. We need to empower and uplift each other. We need to encourage each other.
Whether or not you breastfeed or you use pacifiers is irrelevant. That is not what makes you a great mother. Loving your child, spending time with your child, kissing boo boos, reading books, going to after school events, working hard to provide for them, holding them when they cry, and being their biggest fan...THAT is what makes you a great mother.